Love and Money – How to Be a Team Player When It Comes To Money for Married Female Entrepreneurs

When we talk about money with our spouses one of the biggest challenges that often comes up is that we feel like every time we have a money conversation that we have to suit up and prepare to go out to battle. If we’re women entrepreneurs, we feel like our spouse doesn’t understand the importance of reinvesting money in our businesses. If we have different spending behaviors or money management styles than our spouses this can become a major source of conflict and tension.
It’s easy to forget in these moments of conflict that we are actually on the same team. Instead we find ourselves indulging in the “All About Me Syndrome” and we forget that the person we are going to war with is our spouse – the person that we loved and adored so much that we chose to enter into the commitment of marriage.
So the question becomes how can you and your husband begin to work as an inspired financial teamA� together? Especially when you’re in the middle of an argument and remembering that you’re on the same team is the very last thing that you feel inspired to remember in the moment.
When my husband and I first got married, we talked about creating a vision for our marriage and our financial lives. We came up with an inspiration to be a “World Class Winning Team.” I remember shortly after we created our vision we found ourselves having an argument. In a brief moment of clarity I asked myself internally, “How would a wife who was being a real team player handle this situation with her husband?”
Immediately the answer came to me, “She would listen without judgment or blame and she would completely hear her partner’s position and share her thoughts lovingly and calmly.” I was able to immediately integrate my inspiration. I chose to listen to my husband in the moment instead of stubbornly resisting what he had to say.
And then a surprising thing occurred, because I showed up in an open and receptive way, my husband’s defensiveness completely dropped and we ended up having a very connecting and productive financial conversation.
How can you become more of a team player with your spouse? Begin to explore where you consistently become defensive in your money conversations. Ask yourself “Where have I been engaging in money conversations as if ‘it’s all about me?'” This will support you in taking the first steps to becoming more of team player when it comes to having peacefully and productive money conversations with your spouse.

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